Showing posts with label culture rant (potty training). Show all posts
Showing posts with label culture rant (potty training). Show all posts

"twinkies are healthy for starving people."




i ran across a blog recently that purported to explain why there really is no such thing as "healthy food". the author went on to describe the contradictions and confusion that all of us feel when learning about so many different diets and philosophies about eating today. paleo, south beach, atkins, blood type-based, acidity-based, no-carb, low-carb, fat-free, organic, low-fat, full-fat, vegan, and so on and so forth. i was nodding along for a minute there until she summed it up by basically saying that people should just eat whatever they want - and feed their kids whatever the kids want to eat - because in the end there are no guarantees that eating healthy can actually keep you healthy.

she made a statement in there that basically said that even a twinkie is healthy for a starving person. i tried to shrug it off and understand that she might be confusing "minimally life- sustaining" with "healthy" (you know, like the difference between formula and human milk) and just walk away.

frankly, dealing w/ my own hyperallergic child's current health crisis is taking almost all my free time, so i really had no business looking at a blog that isn't related to my 2 narrow focuses in life right now - learning about safer, non GMO amd cleaner ways to eat and breastfeeding issues. i should really just stick to online materials about those 2 subjects - every time i stray into mainstream info and see what people really think about food, i am astounded. and not in a good way.

but the statement about the twinkies just stuck in my craw. could anyone really EVER think a twinkie was "healthy" ~ under any circumstances? i noticed in the author's bio, that she said she was a "healthy-eating" mother. when i browsed her site a bit more, i found references to "boxed mac and cheese", "drive thru meals" and "cookies". and i remembered the kind of "healthy" feeding i used to do for my 1st children myself. mcdonald's was okay because my kids weren't fat. we went twice a week on gymnastics nights. i knew vaguely that people said it was horrible, but my personal philospohy of "unhealthy food" was if it made you fat. i was uneasily and a bit guiltily willing to accept that french fries were a vegetable and hey - ketchup surely was - it was like, all tomatoes, right?

i watched the comments and replies applauding this open-minded and guilt-assuaging blog article multiply. mothers thanked her for permission to feed their kids what they truly wanted to eat. mothers pointed out that if their children were *such* picky eaters and had so many other issues that ALL they would eat was chicken mcnuggets morning, noon and night - then by god, chicken mcnuggtes are healthy for that child! it went on and on.

i tried to ignore it, reminding myself that there are also blogs where people say that elvis is still alive, too. and that the holocaust never happened. denial can be the best friend of many a harried mother and i lived right on those banks myself until my house tumbled splash into the river and it became a watch -your -family- sink- or -swim situation.

i went on about my schedule but at random times little snippets from the blog article & comments would pop into my head: "yes, i'm a fat woman, but..." "a growth-delayed, sensory-averse child..." "...mother to an underweight, extremely picky eater..." "...the best food for a person stranded on a desert island is hot dogs..." "...not only am i severely underweight...i also have GI issues..." i could go on and on. it's like an actual list of the symptoms of food allergies and intolerances and all the accompanying long-term health issues that result therein, all wrapped up in a justification for continuing to eat fast food, junk food, ramen noodles and mcdonald's!

"whatever's easy with all this stress and illness" are the only comments allowed through the moderation process. trust me, i tried. i know i must be like a dry drunk who thinks everyone that goes near alcohol has to be an alcoholic after all this time with my own food-damaged son, but seriously - reading this article and comments was like watching a drowning person demand a glass of water.

if twinkies are really the answer for starving people, shouldn't the red cross get with it and start shipping them over to 3rd world countries asap? i do concede that they might be ideal in that the expiration date is 'never' and even bugs wouldn't contaminate them. but... seriously?! twinkies for a starving person?? haven't any of these people heard of "supersize me" ?? can you imagine what it would do to a starved, depleted body to consume twinkies? they are hardly more than flavored plastic injected w/ sugar and chemicals! i can't imagine organ failure wouldn't set in within a week or 2 of trying to survive on a diet of twinkies - or hot dogs, for that matter.

and if mcdonald's is "healthy" for a sick, underweight person "who can't/won't eat anything else", then by the same logic, meth would be healthy for all the newborns born meth-addicted, right?

the irony here is that our society *is* starving to death on a diet of limitless twinkies. our bodies are so hungry for true nourishment, that people gorge themselves on whatever tastes good - mistaking overloading your tastebuds with more and more artificial flavor and your body with more and more bad fats, chemicals and genetically modified ingredients with eating something truly nourishing.

as people try harder and harder to sate that hunger, they are growing more and more depleted in vitamins, nutrients & energy while their bodies grow obese trying to store all the excess fat, salt and sugar. and we are only just beginning to get a hint of what the genetically modified ingredients are doing to us!

if people today would only take a few minutes to research what they are actually eating - and what effect it is actually having on their bodies - i have faith that no parent would continue to steadily feed their children the Standard American Diet (SAD). nobody wants to put forth the effort because modern food industries and today's mentality of immediate gratification and convenience assure that people are not likely to take the time to learn about and prepare wholesome, healing and nourishing meals from home. and so the justification and defensiveness about what we eat and feed our kids continues.

i know, i know, i should just stick to the breastfeeding and food allergy blogs out there - trust me, i won't be straying into the scary, Standard American Diet-loving forest of blogs out there again! i have a feeling i'll be seeing some of them again on other food allergy and clean-eating blogs when they finally figure out that their beloved "healthy" fast food is the reason for all their and their children's illnesses, though.

and in the spirit of *not* censoring out the comments that don't agree with a blogger, here's another comment on the article that was not published. the woman who wrote the following also spends her time trying to help people learn how to heal themselves and their children from the ill effects of today's frankenfood.

i may not know exactly which diet philosophy is better than any others - i actually suspect that different body types need different things at different times and no one-size-fits-all way of eating can work for everyone - but i DO know that eating convenient, artificial, chemical-laden and genetically modified foods isn't healthy for ANYONE.

jennifer tow is a good friend, mentor, breastfeeding expert and globally-renowned holistic practitioner on the interweb:

The problem with reading or posting anything on the internet is that you never have the backstory. I tend to ask a zillion questions whenever presented with a situation, which might just be a product of my work as a lactation consultant. So, I have no idea what you eat Arwyn and will not make assumptions. Nor do I need to know, because I can simply address the issue as you presented it.

You say there is no food that brings perfect health. Actually, you can never prove a negative, so I don't know if this is true or not and it doesn't matter. I do know this--that I have worked with tens of thousand of moms and babies over the past 20 years and every single issue that I have ever seen has gotten worse and worse in presentation during that time. Aside from cultural, marketing, economic and social issues that we all know impact birth and infant feeding, the single most significant issue that impacts families is poor nutrition. Or maybe, based upon this post, defense of poor nutrition.

Of course our perception of what is "good" or "bad" will surely have a context. For example, if someone has an allergy to brazil nuts, all the selenium content in the world does not make that a good food for that person. And, if your mother made you finish your least favorite dish as child, after it was cold and everyone else had left the table, I don't care how nutritious it might me, your emotional connection to it might make it toxic to you. After Fukishima, folks in Europe were told not to eat broad leaf greens because they collected too much contaminated rainwater. I get all of that and I agree. Food and its "goodness or badness" have context.

But, it is using these kinds of legitimate points to make such ridiculous rationalizations that really confounds me. And, sure people will get right behind you, because no one wants to do anything that is hard. They would rather believe it doesn't matter. Or at least not very much. I don't care if you are starving--a Twinkie is not healthy--it might sustain you, but it is not ever going to support health. Nor are the vast majority of non-foods people eat every day. As Mark Hyman put it "There is no such thing as junk food. There is food and there is junk."

I spend the majority of my practice helping desperate mothers undo the damage to their babies and children cause by our synthetic/GMO/processed/pasteurized/toxic food supply coupled with our toxic environment and our genetic imprinting from the damage done to our own ancestors by several generations of artificial feeding, medicalized birth, abx and other meds and vaccines. It isn't fun for them and it gets harder all the time and every parent who does not make changes--drastic changes--is adding exponentially to the problem.

We are currently birthing the first generation of children who will not outlive their parents and we are likely the most over-fed, under-nourished people to have every walked the Earth. And we have the wounds and scars to prove it. But, we would rather hide out and defend our addictions, even while those addictions make us sick physically and emotionally, while they fry our children's nervous systems and lead us to medicate them.

You can look at the battles that rage between the Paleo, vegan, raw food, etc camps as more support for your argument, but what I look at are the similarities, because I have no financial interest in any of them. The commonalities are real food. No room for fake food. None. Zero. Some might sprout grains and others say no grains. Some say raw dairy, others none. In the end, it depends on how much gut healing you need to do as to which works best for you, but they all use food that is not GMO or factory-farmed or packaged or processed to death (ours). Look at the similarities and you really can't go wrong. Once you start to feel your own body's true signals again, you can tweak it from there.

What absolutely works for no one though is the crap that the majority of Americans are addicted to, feed their kids and justify through absurd rationalizations, as you have in this post and others have in their comments. If your child only eats mac and cheese or chicken nuggets, then you have two options--rationalize that as good enough or bite the bullet, face your own addictions and get your child and yourself on a gut healing diet, so all of that pickiness disappears with the toxic gut flora and yeast that the fake food is feeding.

Do you have to be a perfectionist? I don't know. Do you want this planet to survive? When we make a mess this big, as we have, then yes, I think we need to be as impeccable as we can to fix it. Do we have to obsess about food. No, we just need to pay attention, become educated and leave the world of non-food behind. Of course, for most people, that's most of what they eat. So, maybe it feels obsessive.

I would say I don't really care what other people feed their kids, and frankly, I don't have much time to think about it if they aren't my clients, but we have come to a point where this human village is at too much risk--frankly, I do not trust sick people to govern this world. And that is where we are rapidly headed.

"normal' versus "common"

i recently went to a theme park with friends and took my then 23 month old baby to the bathroom. i was immediately accosted by two mothers who began raving that they couldn't believe my baby was potty-trained. they literally followed him to his stall and watched me stand him on the toilet ring and we had to gently shut the door in their astounded (and yes - somewhat inebriated - it was almost 10 pm and the park was closing) faces! true, he was the size of a 9 month old at the time as he's very small for his age - and i wondered how they would have reacted if they'd seen him trotting into a public stall when he first potty-trained at 18 months, when he was the size of a 6 month old.

i have five children, all potty-learned completely between 18 and 23 months, even through the night. i think the biggest reason for this is we didn't use disposable diapers - we used cloth - and i watched my babies closely for cues that they had to go when they became mobile and actively tried to get them to the bathroom in time (a lazier version of elimination communication) - and lots of naked time ! disposable diapers are full of toxic chemicals that studies show can harm the reproductive organs and may be contributing to the high rates of infertility in our country. i believe they can disrupt the signals to a child's brain that they have to go to the bathroom, as well . not to mention the fact that the 'stay-dry' technology (aka class-A carcinogenic polyacrylate gel - or that funny crystal-looking, rubbery stuff you sometimes find in your baby's creases around or on their genitals...) means that they don't get that signal of wetness, telling them they've just gone. most people these days also seem to feel naked children are taboo and therefore i think kids are seeing less cause and effect to help w/ potty-learning .

we have all hardwood floors, when my babies go on the floor while crawling or toddling around, they feel it coming, see it hit the floor, see & help me clean it up, see and help me put it in the toilet, see and participate in handwashing . what do babies in disposable diapers see and feel ? almost nothing . no cause and effect reactions, no immediate removal of their waste - and when it does get taken away, i've never seen a mother scrape one into the toilet like they're supposed to, it all just goes in the trash - that's got to be confusing ! not to mention devastating to our planet .


i also think it is a huge self-perpetuating cycle. it is not unusual at all for entry to kindergarten to be delayed these days because a child is not potty-trained. in fact, parents have tried to bring pressure to bear on many school districts to allow their children into school regardless - i guess by 5 they can practically change their own diapers ? at any rate, i am hearing more and more moms say "well, s/he's just not ready, the dr. said you can't push them and it's normal for some kids to need a little longer."

these same moms absolutely can't believe that my 18 month old was potty trained and swarmed to ask me what my 'trick' was, which 'method' worked for me, which book or video could they buy to try out?

when i explained it was basically spending time interacting w/ and observing my babies, cleaning up many messes, letting them run around naked.... their eyes always go dull as they lose all interest . they didn't know they actually had to stop their lives and get in tune w/ their children, they'd rather stick w/ their convenience item than do that.

who ever said kids were going to be easy - why do so many people who become parents act as if they never expected to have their own lives, schedule and routines disrupted ? are we really so entitled and self-serving we can't open ourselves up to the beautiful chaos of learning along w/ our children as we put everything else aside and let them show us what they need ?

so the more parents that see children in diapers longer, the more normalized it becomes and the more parents are fine with letting it happen . i've seen my children's mouths drop open as we've entered a public bathroom and seen a mother changing the diaper on a child old enough to be in school and almost breaking the diaper changing station off the wall as the child lays there playing a handheld video game and directing his mother as to how hard she's wiping him. it looked and smelled like an adult had moved his bowels in that giant diaper, it was shocking to me that every instinct a mother had wouldn't tell her this wasn't right.


i had a pediatrician tell me it is flat out impossible for an 18 month old to go without peeing all night, their bladders are simply not big enough . i laughed when i replied, "then how do you explain my kids, all 5 of them have done it ! and my grandmother had 10 - during the depression she had to put dishcloths on the babies - and everyone in the family says most of them were potty trained by about a yr - even through the night - and my great grandmother had 14 and reported the same
experience !" spend any amount of time talking to elderly parents and you will hear the same thing.

it's becoming the new norm because so many people are doing it. just like mothers who 'didn't make enough milk' since the aggressive marketing and distribution of formula. back when women were having an average of 8 children, you never heard of this, now it's almost the norm. so many issues parents are dealing with today are becoming labeled 'normal'. plagiocephaly because they get left in their car seat carriers and forced to sleep only on their backs too long ? oh, that's normal ! they make helmets that will fix that right up ! i'm even seeing babies in baby food and formula ads w/ flattened backs to their heads now - as if this is the ideal, healthy baby . this is a deviation, a distortion in the normal shape of our babies' heads that is being caused because it's more convenient to leave them in a car seat carrier than to carry and hold them- or for goodness' sake, pop them into a sling !

speech disorders because they suck on bottles, pacis and sippies for way too long ? that's normal - just take them to speech therapy classes before they start school ! overweight because of their diet and lack of exercise ? that's normal, kids are just made bigger these days because of all the hormones in our foods - nothing you can do about that !

ah, the double-edged sword that is progress! my new mantra is:
" 'common' is *NOT* the same as 'normal' "
i see very little that is biologically - or even psychologically! - normative when it comes to how we raise children today.

when even the growth charts and scales are changed to reflect unnatural feeding practices, mothers who are truly practicing biologically normative infant feeding get left in the lurch. our babies literally can't measure up - because we aren't bulking them up on proteins meant for a beast weighing up to a ton with several stomachs. it's a very strange position to be in, to *know* you are doing things the way they were meant to be done, the best way for your child's health & development... and yet find yourself fighting the tide at every step. ~ welcome to my life ! ~