today's dose of humility.

i never saw it coming today.
just when you think your kids are finally old enough
to observe social decorum and not humiliate you
into a puddle on the floor - - don't.

we're at the allergist's office, getting jonah's weekly shots.
it's crowded.
the dr.s are helping do the shots.
two of them paused between patients to have a casual conversation with me. 
of course there had to be half a dozen nurses
in the crowded shot area, as well. and at least five patients.

a well- accessorized woman walks past on her way out when suddenly jonah exclaims,
"i know what she has! she has a SNATCH! my sister has one, too! jovie loves hers! she got a pink one!! right, mumma??"

funny how the heat of extreme shame and humiliation can be felt so differently at different times. this time it felt like it was starting behind my eyeballs and creeping down from my scalp simultaneously. i felt my ears glowing. but the backs of my legs felt afire, too. interesting, right?

all conversation came to a screeching halt. all eyes turned to my very loud son, and then scathed their way over to me. i could see the dr.s' eyes start to search the room frantically, for a way out, any way out. a nurse's mouth hung open. a patient clutched her young child to her ample bosom in horror. another nurse dropped the basket of stickers, seemingly in slow motion.

oblivious, he continued in his quest for confirmation and validation,
 "right, mumma? you know? jovie has a SNATCH like that, but her SNATCH is not so big - she can't put anything in it
 but her epi-pen..."

i saw my hand starting out toward his mouth seemingly of its own accord, disembodied from me, as if even my own limbs would dissociate themselves from this abominable public shame. hand clawed into a clamp to press over his mouth. 
possibly hard enough to dislodge teeth.

"that's not called a SNATCH, silly," jovie interjected imperiously, visibly pleased to be correcting her older brother, 
"it's a CLUTCH! and mine isn't pink, it's ROSE."

snatch, clutch, anyone could make that mistake!
 it happens to other people too, i'm sure. 
i'll be hiding in bed for the rest of my life if anyone needs me.


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